Do you have children stone_soup?

No.
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Don't tick me off. Or you'll get it.

Discipline doesnt have to involve force...there are lots of other tactics to employ

By "force" do you mean corporal punishment?

Force as in smacking?

That's what I'd like to know Rosy. Force could mean lots of things. If in this case it means physical punishment then I don't agree with using it.

Combination of force and negotiation would work best....I am not for the softly softly approach....I think that way of dealing with children is the very reason kids are carrying knives and kill each other for stepping on the other sneakers

My mom always had the policy that you start young. If you dont let your kids get away with things when they are young then you wont have as many problems when they are older. When my brother and I were younger we knew not to run around and yell and be brats like most kids do now. My mom would spank us but it wasnt often and it wasnt like we were being beaten but it was enough that you made sure not do what you did again

I was spanked as a child. It made me fear and hate my Dad who doled out the spankings. When my oldest was younger and too little to reason with, I spanked her a couple of times and hated myself for it. Seeing that look of fear and confusion in her eyes made me remember how it felt to be in her place. I haven't spanked her in 4 years and find that reasoning works just fine with her. With my two year old I find ignoring the bad behaviour and rewarding the good is working so far. They're both well behaved and non-violent children.

Twink, that's interesting. I'm glad you realized and found a more effective way to discipline your children.

I don't think you can say that one style of parenting will work across the board for all children in all situations. I do agree that children absolutely need to be disciplined more than they seem to be these days. But *how* they need to be disciplined will vary with different children.

My father ruled with an iron fist. His discipline included spankings. I was a really well behaved child (until my teens) because I was scared sh*tless.

~Procrastinate Now! Don't Put It Off~ (Ellen)

I just remembered a debate I saw once on the title phrase, and its interpretaton.
The discussion was about whether it meant If you spare the rod, you will spoil the child, or if the original meaning was Spare the rod and spoil the child.
I never thought of it that way before I saw that, but its an interesting perspective.

~Procrastinate Now! Don't Put It Off~ (Ellen)

My siblings and I all got our share of beatings and still are accused of being spoiled rotten. So who knows

Well, by force I would mean, maybe a little spank on the bum, perhaps? As a child, my parents sometimes caned me. I'd say it was rather effective. It's not the pain. Rather, it's the shame that I would remember forever.
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Don't tick me off. Or you'll get it.

like jinx my dad was a tough one and we sure had a healthy fear of him growing up which probably helped to keep us in line but he also had a soft spot for us girls and although he definately used discipline he never hit us and i grew up to be very respectful and unspoiled. With my daughter i started the discipline when she was very young but i have never raised a hand to her. i've been lucky so far with her and i know it. she's a great kid so i find talking to her and explaining to her exactly what's she's done and why it's wrong works and sometimes taking a favorite thing from her works very well also.